My journal. Click an entry to read. Newest entries at the top.
Hey there! I don't feel like sharing my name, so just call me V. I'm in college for the arts, and I like modifying clothes! I read a lot, I listen to a lot of metal, and my favorite song changes constantly. I hope you enjoy my site! It was a pain in the ass to code. Btw, this entry always stays at the top :p
I recently realized that there's nothing forcing me to use a smart phone. For a while, I've been considering leaving my phone behind in favor of an old flip phone. "Aw, but you won't be able to listen to muzic-" silence bozo, I have an mp3 and cd player. "Oh, but what about movies-" Portable dvd player. "But pockets aren't big enough-" I wear a backpack everywhere anyway. With all this considered, I think I'd be less distracted. I could focus more on the world around me more than the one in the phone. The demons within the magic morror can't curse me with melancholy if I have no need for them anymore, you know? I think I'll try that. When I can afford it, but it's happening.
The internet used to feel so much different. I was born early in the 2000s, back in the day of windows vista, boxy tan computers, and frutiger aero. Sure, businesses still had a website, but the internet still felt like a place. Like something made by people, somewhere you go, not just a service you used. It used to be "surfing the web," but now its just... empty. Searches pushed by algorithms, ads everywhere you turn, never being sure if the account you're seeing is a real person or a bot. And honestly, I don't think it'll ever be like it was. But theres a possibility. Neocities is rebuilding the culture around personal websites and blogs a bit. Besides, maybe one day the companies that run the world will try reverting back to old layouts and logos to try and capitalize off of nostalgia. Not the correct reason to go back, sure, but it's better than being stuck in a web with no soul left.
I started at college a few days ago, and my quality of life has improved. I smiled without any reason for the first time in years. The stress of home lifted off my shoulders. I even managed to make a few friends that don't think I'm insane! Things are finally looking up for me.
You ever get bored beyond all hell and then decide to go back and read that one really good book you've read about a million times? Yeah, I'm in that mood, but that's not the annoying part. What's driving me fucking insane is the fact that I can't find the damn book! It's just fuckin gone. I've checked every book shelf, between the couch cushions, every corner of the house, hell, I even checked the freezer. That's not a joke. Things I've lost have actually showed up in there. But it just seems to have fallen into the bottomless void. I could make finding the book easier by cleaning my room, but I really don't feel like it right now. Or ever.
I have the national anthem of Djibouti stuck in my head. I do not live in Djibouti. I have never been there. But I listened to it once because of a youtuber, and now I can't get it out of my head.
I got accepted into the school I've wanted to go to! It's right near my home town too, where I lived when my life didn't suck. I'm not naming the school or the town because common sense.
Winter makes depression ten times worse. I'm not gonna say I want the sun back, because summer is sticky. If anything, I just want spring weather, but not to warm. East Coast weather sucks, man, and there's nothing to do here. I'm going insane.
Ok, I know I sound like I'm 80, but hear me out. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying smart phones are the root of all evil or anything. For the most part, there's nothing wrong with using one. The problem I have with them is how people use them too much. These things are basically fucking Elder Scrolls, a little tablet with all the world's information at your disposal, as well as easy communication and entertainment. When used to look something up quickly, talk to someone, find your way, etc. phones are helpful. But now, everything is digital. Hell, the one friend I have is on hers when we hang out. I used to be the same before I switched to a flip phone. Sure, it takes 5 minutes to type out a text and the battery drains in 24 hours or less. It is more of an inconvenience than anything else, but it's made it easier for me to focus on the things that really matter in life.
I cleaned my room last week, and for a while it was pretty nice. I could actually see the floor for a while. But now, less than 10 days later, I'm back to square one. I'm so fucking bad at keeping my room clean that I don't notice any problems until it's too late, and now I have to clean again. I would gladly walk barefoot on 5 miles of the sharpest legos if it meant I could actually keep my room clean.
It has been a fucking NIGHTMARE finding graphics to use as buttons on the home page. I'm trying to stick with the early 2000s old web style, but it's too difficult to find graphics that are at least half good. That's without mentioning finding ones I actually LIKE! If anyone knows where I can find good assets, reach out and tell me. If you know me, you'll know where to find me.
Spent 3 hours debugging code on the home page. I deleted my entire fucking CSS document and rewrote it, only to figure out that the reason nothing was working was ONE MISSING END TAG! Needless to say, I'm beyond pissed right now.